Who You Really Are

Dear M,

I would like to take this opportunity to give you the appreciation you know full well you don’t get enough of but certainly deserve. Here, I would like to thank you for all that you’ve been to me. For being my rock when I didn’t realize I was weak, for being my star when it was dark. For never taking your anger out on me but rather empathizing with the fact that we both have issues to sort out.

Thank you for not being defensive and in denial when I confront you about it; for actually taking the time and effort to deal with our reality instead of reverting to your past immaturity by lashing out on others.

Moreover, thank you for your willingness to grow, to change, and to embrace the best that’s yet to come.

So…how was our 2017?

Let’s see…

We developed and maintained two beautiful friendships with those whom we reside. We challenged each other, grew each other, and pushed each other out of our comfort zones.

We organized a schedule so as to make time and space for everyone who matters to us.

We learned what it means to love an animal — still conditionally, though, he had to earn it.

We completed and published a novella online — nothing with particular impact, merely a book of poetry.

We proofread translations of a textbook that came out this year — finally put bilingualism and grammar OCD to actual use.

We started on the second part of a trilogy, part one was complete last year.

We’re 1/3 through a fun, adult novel about a dog. A book that is being written in a language and style contrary to that of our regular use.

We started a new job — the one you’ve spent months gearing for and finally achieved.

We started playing piano at a church in support of their work with refugees and migrant workers.

We learned what it means to appreciate those who are good to us, and how to let go of the ones who are toxic.

We confronted our fear of relationships by first cultivating our own, then venturing to explore with another.

M, we’ve done a lot this year, so please don’t let your hard work go down in vain. You know that we’ll get through anything, because you’ve already been through the hells most people still avoid, and you made it out alive.

Remember these words when demons around try to destroy you, when they attack you and make you feel inadequate. When they assert their dominance and unleash their insecurities on you at full force. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, love, but you can’t do it without me.

I’m glad that you’ve finally learned; I’m grateful that you’ve matured and become less stubborn.

In the coming year, my love, we will take the bull right by its horns and no longer give demons a sense of power over us. I will shield you from destruction but not from minor pain.

Together, we will conquer, and it will all be with Love.

Peace, my dear.


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