Depth

“What do you want?”
“You know what I want…”

There is a secret depth, hidden beneath layers of humour and charm, behind eyes that sparkle and charisma of a personality, beyond the allure that lures anyone into her presence.

An intrinsic depth, which she — despite the popularity and immense surrounding of people who admire her likability — only reveals to those with whom there is a genuine connection that can penetrate the superficial and pacify the superfluous.

But there are times that depth would shine unexpectedly — when she shares about family, the way she brightens up the vibe with her friends, reasons she anticipates and accommodates the needs of those she cares about, the drive behind her consistency and commitment to personal development, perceptions and perspectives of relationships, and most evidently that mix of reactions when her real and raw is understood but also accepted.

In those moments when she shares about family, there is a mix of openness and discretion, where the logos is coherent but the pathos is obscured behind distinct deflections. Then, there’s that way she brightens up the vibe with her friends, how she squeals with joy and laughs at the slightest of amusements, wearing the most contagious of smiles that breaks the ice and melts hearts. The reasons she anticipates and accommodates the needs of those she cares about, that sense of compassion and empathy that she so readily gives unconditionally. But when you mention personal relationships, there’s both a yearning to be understood but also a hesitation as she contemplates a response, while maintaining an open-mind and hinting at implications, slightly guarding her heart but also seeking trust and connection. Most evidently, though, put her in a setting where she’s most comfortable, where that raw and real — that vulnerability — is understood, accepted, appreciated… that’s when you really see her.

A large part of her life revolves around taking care of others and herself, and what she shows in actions but seldom admits verbally, is an unspoken desire for someone to do for her what she so naturally does for everyone around her. The way she listens and speaks from the heart, the sincerity and empathy she emanates, the balance between focus and fun, the intensity that she channels into productivity along with the relaxation that comes from rest and recharge, and the enjoyment of her own company but also in celebrating life with those who enjoy her as well.

Perhaps she doesn’t always realise it shows, or perhaps she does know, and silently wishes for someone who cares enough to see through the walls, has a willingness to understand, and capacity to accept her exactly as she is — to be taken seriously, but also to keep the spark and thrill of life alive.

The depth, the secret layer that reads a desire for someone as desirable as her — to let herself be loved the way she lets herself love.

The yearning itself is fairly direct and not entirely complex, and while there are some who might consider this to be a tad complicated or sometimes contradictory, there are nonetheless a few who seem to fathom those wants and needs — physically, intellectually, and emotionally.

Though many of them can acknowledge all of that, there’s part of her that wants someone to grow with her. With her, and not just for nor because of her. With, the preposition itself being the crux of it all.

It really is quite simple…
Physically, palpably, she is drawn to strength — strong enough to hold her, and gentle enough for her to feel at ease; strong enough to be honest and committed, and gentle enough to be vulnerable and transparent.
Intellectually, intrinsically, she appreciates to consistency — the consistency in motivation and inspiration, in stimulation that ignites passion but also encompasses the kindness that refrains from judgement and discouragement.
Emotionally, empirically, she wants stability — steady and secure, attentive and considerate, open-minded excitement upheld by a sense of trust and reliability.

There is a secret depth, hidden beneath layers of humour and charm, behind eyes that sparkle and charisma of a personality, beyond the allure that lures anyone into her presence — and in that depth, there is a desire to be vulnerable… not just the cognitive knowledge that she can be, but the intrinsic experience that can be shared extrinsically.

The depth, the desire…
The experiences…
…to be explored…

“You know what I want…”
“Yeah… I do…”

MG

(original — 26 June)